dear god,

I’m writing this commitment to You. I’ve learned my lesson and I NEVER want to go outside of Your will again. I don’t want to go ahead of it, outside of it, drag behind it, or fight it. I’ve learned my lesson and truly I know that the best thing for me is You. Keep me humble God. Remind me that the only good thing about me is You. The only thing worthy of praise is you. Let me hide behind You. Find refuge in You. Let my life be a mirror image of You. Let my words be Your words and my thoughts, Your thoughts. Help me to surrender and trust in You, trust you, and trust that not only that You know what is best for me but that You are what is best for me. Let me never again have a single idol or single passion outside of You. Help me to know and FEEL that You + me is enough. Help me to fight for justice as You would. To speak truth to power as YOU would. Help me not to fight my battles not in my own strength but with You as my defender, my solid rock, and my peace. For real, God. I never, ever, ever want to go outside of Your will. Help me to remember that in times where I want to disobey and times when I feel depressed, hopeless, and worthless. Arrest my heart God and help me to find peace in surrender. Be my foundation. My everything. God, give me the wisdom I need. The courage I need. The peace I need. The rest I need. Help to only rely on you. Teach me how to hear your voice. Help me believe Your Word and help me to understand Your Word. Help me to not want to understand everything or be understood by everyone. Help me not to blame or judge or be victim. Help me to take care of all parts of me: soul, heart, mind, body. Help me to honor You with my finances, with my words, with my work, with my friendships, relationships, and partnerships. Help me to DO NO HARM but it rightfully divide. Help me to focus and to not lose sleep over what I cannot control. Help me to find joy in You. Friendship in You. Safety in You. Help me to count everything here as loss — just to have You. Give me Your peace, Your Calm, Your Wisdom, Your Power, Your Abundance. Help me to stand up for my faith and not be proud or prideful with it but still be able to be inclusive and non-judgmental. Help me to listen more than I speak and to let go of what does not apply and serve me or You. Help me not to take offense and not live in anger and rage. Help me to show how to manage and hold the load of injustice and unfair situations. Help my heart to be still and know that YOU are FIGHTING for me — that I do not need to fight with my soul or my knowledge. Speak through me, flow though me, make Your power and your peace and your resolve evident in my life. Help me to handle conflict in a constructive way and know when to stand on my truth and when to stand on Yours. Make my truth Your Truth. Help me to not want but to live with eternity in mind. Help me to forgive and be generous. Help me not to hate but only to help and to hope. Help me to stay true to my beliefs and never doubt the gift that YOU gave to me. Help me to create and love and heal and REST in You. Help me to surrender and be a light. Help me to be light and magnetic. Help me to be magic. For You. To advance Your Kingdom. To achieve Your Agenda. Help me to BE HONEST and live with integrity. Help me to serve, truly serve. Not with my words but with my actions. Help me to live in alignment with who You are and who You say I am. Help me not to look to others for ANYTHING that determines my value and my worth. Help me not to be moved by people’s opinions of me. Of what they will say. Or think. Or believe about me. Help me never to put on a show or perform for anyone or anything. Honestly. Help me walk through this world with confidence and peace and a sound mind. Help me to put of my ARMOR daily and keep it on. Help me to love like You love. Help me to learn. To keep my strength. To not fall into depression or want my life to be over before its time. Help me not to live in the shame of my past or the anxiety of my future. Help me to learn and own my failures and receive lesson You are trying to teach me. Help me to be a light. Your Light. For you and your people. Help me to live in love and rest in love and be in love. With him and You and the work and the people (but really You and him, please God) — help me to build comeunity and hope and health. God, I want to rest in you everything single moment of every single day. REST. True REST. Your ease and your simplicity. Restore and revive me, God and comfort me on every side. Be the love of my life. I love you.